Last year I decided to try something new. Throughout the month of December I prayed and ask God to reveal one word to me that would carry me through the following year. My word for 2019 was restoration. For 2020, my word is fulfillment.
I remember being in church and the pastor would say, “Just pray, and God will reveal his purpose in your lives!” Well, that’s not always the case. Sometimes we are not ready to see what God has in store for us. I would pray, but there was always a wall shielding me. I could feel it on the other side, but God would say in a still small voice, “Not yet.” I never understood why it was hidden from me until I understood the cost being prepared was going to require.
If I would have known what it was going to take to get me prepared, I would have done everything in my power to alter my course and avoid the pain I was going to suffer. It would have terrfied me, and God knew that. Even if God had shown me what was on the other side of that wall, I still would have been too scared to go through it (which in retrospect, this realization gives me so much more reverence for Jesus, he knew his entire life what he was going to have to endure and never ran from it).
When I look back at 2018, I realize that God had to break down everything that I had built on my own (deconstruction). Everything that I had built through stubbornness and pride because I was determined to do things MY WAY. My foundation was weak. God would tell me to do something one way, but instead I chose to slap some duck tape on the problem and move on, but let me tell you, you can only duck tape so many things together before it all collapses under the weight. It is a very painful process.
After my world collapsed, I had determined from then on, I wasn’t making ANY decisions on my own anymore. I surrendered my entire life to God and that’s when real change began. When God gave me the word restoration for 2019, I became excited. Biblical restoration means to put back together BETTER than before. I couldn’t wait to see how God was going to put me back together now that I had been broken down. I was a clean slate that he could work with.
As 2019 progressed, God showed out in so many aspects of my life. He was truly restoring every part of me. He was rebuilding my life on a strong foundation with sound structure. A foundation that could weather any storm and would stand the test of time. Now that I have been “repurposed” for my purpose, I am thrilled to see what 2020 holds for me.
As we close out this year I urge everyone to pray and ask God for a word to carry on in to the next year. I don’t know what is in store for me this coming year but I am really looking forward to seeing what happens. The definition of fulfillment is, “the achievement of something promised and happiness as a result of fully developing one’s character.”
And to me, that sounds like another amazing year.
2018: Deconstruction 2019:Restoration 2020:Fulfillment