Resilience Comes from Exposure

It’s hard for some of us. You know, to let people see that we aren’t perfect, and we don’t have it all together. I get it. Sometimes before I write a blog or share something personal on social media, a flood of faces will fill my head and the redundant, “What will they think?”, pops in to my mind. But in the end, that moment of uncertainty is passed over, and I pour my heart out. I share things about my life that many people struggle with, but are ashamed of, or deem it too personal to put in the open. I don’t see struggle the same way. People are not inspired by situations that are kept in the dark. You can’t see in the dark. It’s when things are exposed and people see the resilience and the fight inside of you, that they are inspired.

I am not ashamed of anything I have gone through because they are things I have gone THROUGH. The struggles, the pain, the fire that is lit within each one of us when we are battling another devil, is what inspires others to keep fighting. It’s cyclical, and it motivates us, pushes us, and forces us to pull out the best in ourselves.

Today, my daughter said to me, “Mom, sometimes I wish we had a normal life.” Her entire disposition shifted, and a sense of sadness filled the room. For a second, my heart was broken, but I used that moment to explain to her that there is no such things as normal. I said, “Do you know anyone that actually has a ‘normal’ life? What do you consider normal? Everyone has a different hand they are dealt and a different battle to fight. The battles may not always be publicized but I promise you, they are there. Granted not everyone has a special need’s brother that has violent meltdowns, and a single mom dealing with auto immune diseases, but that is the hand we are currently dealt and we have to work WITH our battles, to get through them. ”

I want nothing more than to teach her to how to embrace her life, and my answer seemed to resonate with her. I don’t want her to see someone’s “filtered life”, and miss her own unique strengths. I want her to use what she is feeling to create something beautiful. Art is created through emotion. That emotion stems from positive AND negative life altering events. We need to take these moments to guide our children through how they are feeling and refocus it to the positive. It’s so important for us to use the time we have been given, with our children, to direct them.

We have all heard the story of the egg and the potato. How water hardens one and softens the other. We all go through rough water but how we handle it, determines the outcome. Find what you can learn through your trials. Use that to become wiser, stronger, and better than before. If the emotion is too great, find a creative outlet to channel it, and create something extraordinary. Teach your children how to do the same, and they will learn how to handle stress more effectively and become the best version of themselves in the process.

My contentment with my situation has nothing to do with the fact that my life is going great. My contentment comes from acceptance of my situation. Even with these auto immune disorders, and the inability to currently hold a job, I am at a level of peace I have never had before. We have to take what we have been given and make that amazing. We don’t need to be in a specific place, we need to find the beauty in the life we have now. THIS is how we inspire others and THIS is how we change the world.

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